What We Could Be Dreaming Of

24 Dec 05 - 1.10pm
Radio = The Perishers - Nothing Like You And I

Saturday. Last day of the long break before work. Sigh.. Wished I had another roll of it. I wouldn't say the past few days have been well spent. They've not been a waste either. At least I got to use them with purpose. Been helping out at parents' eating stall lately. Yes.. haven't mentioned about this yet. Mum and dad have opened an eating stall somewhere in Aljunied. I didn't really liked the idea of them venturing into this business. Risky. Plus it's tiring! Seeing mum cooking all the dishes...whoa!! Superwoman [la]. Anyway, it's been a week since they started, business sales have been encouraging. Im impressed. [which explains the reason why I've been helping out lately. tsk tsk tsk] The only problem they're having now are the resources. Lacking in manpower. [volunteers anyone?? walk-in applics are open now]. I've done my mini part this week. Sya will cover for next week. After that, I don't know. Hope things wil work out just fine then. And I really hope this business will be successful in the long run. God willing. What dreams may come..

Oh yes, I been meaning to mention this too. Just been forgetting things lately. Is that a sign of ageing?? Can't be, too early right? Alright.......

23 Feb 06. Remember this day for one of the biggest bands if not biggest are coming to town.. OASIS are coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!! Excellent! Excellent!! Excellent!!! The band that influenced me to listen and worshipped the type of music genre are coming! F***ing unbelievable! [someone pinch me]. This is indeed a dream come true. Overdue. They were supposed to have long performed a couple of years back, but cancelled out at the very last minute. They had better Roll With It this time. And yes I've got the tics!! For S$100/-, I'll be cramping it out with thousands of other Oasis fans come the day. Free standing. Those swearings and screamings.. Classics - Wonderwall, Don't Look Back In Anger, Live Forever, Champagne Supernova, Stand By Me sing-a-longs.. Bring on the Cigarettes and Alcohol [minus the latter].. Can't hardly wait. Simply greatness. Oasis..! Oasis..! Oasis..!

"I hate hip hop. I f***ing hate that culture and Im sickened that it's taking over the whole world. It's everywhere. I wouldn't mind if the music was any good, but it's shit. Who's that one who's big in England? 50 Cent? Or is it 25 pence? And then there's f***ing Snoopy. Awful. I couldn't hum one of their tunes." - Noel Gallagher

Leave Politics To Politicians.

"Live 8 wasn't about raising money, it was to raise political awareness whatever that means. And there's Madonna, banging on about world poverty while wearing 20,000 pounds worth of diamonds. Now, how f***ing sick is that? Don't bang on to working class people about poor people when you're covered in f***ing diamonds. Bono and Chris Martin and Thom Yorke are like, 'hey there's a planet to be saved, man!' Well, someone's got to do it I suppose. I'd rather f***ing rock and roll, you know what I mean." - Noel Gallagher

Yes yes.. Whatever you say your highness.. A true Rock 'n' Roll Star.

Im really into comics. Or at least I was. Those superheroes: Spiderman, X-Men, Daredevil etc. got this little boy enticed then. Collecting those comics of cos in turn burned holes in my tight school pockets. My point is has anyone of us ever heard a real life human being superhero wannabe? Operating to save the world or country or community at least lets say. Well now I know of one. Happened to read an article in the papers. He calls himself by the name of Captain Jackson! He's been a superhero, keeping the streets of Jackson, Michigan US safe for the past 6 years! What makes it more interesting is that he doesn't work alone! He is joined by his 15-year old daughter a.k.a Crimefighter Girl and fiance a.k.a Queen of Hearts. Hahaha!! I don't believe this!! How kewl is that!? Having a crime fighting superhero watching over us in our daily lives. I wanna be one if I could! And just to update, the captain is now serving 6 months probation for drink-driving. I guess he was only human afterall. Kapow..! Poof..! Kapang..! Kapoosh..!

Some superhero quotes from Captain Jackson:

"I fill a gap between police and citizens."

"People actually come downtown to see us. They think , 'What a unique community to have its own superheroes."

"We are three of only five or six true superheroes on the planet. Most of the others are just comic book characters."

2.51pm

Alright, it's raining now. Looks like I won't be going anywhere today. Couch potato-ing, listen to some nice music, play on my guitar or call up some friends. Or I could play Championship Manager again... hmmmm. Chill-in. Cheers.

24 Dec 05 - 2.59pm

When You Know That You Just Don't Know

19 Dec 05 - 9.50pm
Radio = Damien Rice - Cannonball

I've bought some time off work in the next few days, right up till Saturday. Kewl! Got myself leaves. I needed the break. Now Im pretty sure there'll be lots of plans for outings. And here I was supposed to have myself a good long rest before a hectic schedule at work arrives. 31 Dec- I'll be slugging it out in the streets, slaving myself to protect the community and maintaining all orders. Whatever. F***! While you, you and you, all you people are soaking in the atmosphere, summarising your years, coupling all the nice memories, and perhaps have the time of your life then, I'll be feeling otherwise. Embracing the end and anticipating the born of a new year come the day, I'll be cursing my luck..and praying for a better fortune in about 365 days' time. [Well I could be "sick" on the day can I? Haha..]

Here's to the comments. Cheers..

"They can come and go wherever they like. Wherever they are.. still the old friends are in my heart. Are they locked in yours too?" - *Guide Me. Give Me Your Strength.

Always. Not a single day goes [or a week at least!] without me missing them. Im a treasurer [la].

"You have the writing skills, love to read your thoughts." - *Guide Me. Give Me Your Strength.

Im flattered! As much as I'd like to think so, I feel that Im no picasso in writing. Amateur-ish. Wished I was better at it, then I'd be famous..! Well I can only improve. I think Im only expressing myself merely basing all writing materials on actual events. I tend to think that people generally take greater interest in non-fictional stuffs. I believe that the more you write, somewhow you'd be a better writer. Never mind the fact that you're new or a pro at it. And of cos, being the mellow and at times emotional person I am, I think perhaps it's easier for me to pour out the feelings! [on paper that is]

"Very interesting. Reminds me of my youthful days." - *Why Don't We Share Our Solitude?

Merci. Good to know that I made someone reflect on one's life. And I feel young now.

"Update! Update! Getting curious.. I shall wait for your next entry then.." - *Find Someone I Can't Stand To Live Without

Good source of motivation this.

"Dun leave out any juicy parts huh?!" - *Find Someone I Can't Stand To Live Without

No secrets. There was none! Sigh.. haha.

"I enjoyed reading some of your posts. I have a early symptoms of ovarion cancer site." - *Everyone Gotta Be Somewhere

Im left with a good feeling. Nice comment. Although Im not too sure of the latter. I can only think it was mentioned because of an assumption. Well it's not about that. Some other health issues. Im still praying that it's not serious.

"OMG...the emo u speaks. So how's the tv now? Is it up and running?" - *Try To Find Somebody Then You Die

As mentioned in my post recently, perhaps I am getting there if Im not already. Is that good or bad?? The TV is down and dead! Haha. Yup, it needs servicing. Luckily I can still use the SCV cables on dad's TV. *Winks*

"Good things comes to those who wait..Izzit? Y does it come so late. People around you get all the things they want; Y can't we? Have you ever ask yourself. Sometimes I feel life is unfair." - *Try To Find Somebody Then You Die

There is no real conviction when I say that good things comes to those who wait. Im just hoping it's true. And of cos, I believe life is unfair. There's so many examples to reflect this. One being simply the phrase: "Born with a silver spoon." Now think about that. Or...is it just us beings? - human nature. We think things are cos we choose to see it that way. [??] When things go against you, you think this... and that... And when everything goes well, I doubt that we're ever sincerely thankful for it. We just talk but never really show it in our daily actions. But then again, it's hard to practise what you say. Well nobody's perfect.

"Sometimes I wonder whether I can survive, be successful and achieve my dreams." - *Try To Find Somebody Then You Die

Hopes and Fears. I guess they come in a package. You've got to have fears before you can start hoping. All I can say is be positive of the future.

"Have you seen the orchard road at night? Yucky.. red and yellow. I love dhoby ghout area. With the stars and snowflakes. " - *It's More Than Just Words

The last time I went there, it was filled with bright coloured yellow lightings. I thought it looked nice and colourful. If there were indeed stars and snowflakes at Dhoby Ghout, then I'll have to see it. They'd make a pretty sight. Certainly.

"Check it out! Freinds or friends?" - *It's More Than Just Words

I'll have to go with Friends on this. Definite answer! Haha

"What do they say if a dream keeps recurring each time. N each time it's half finish." - *It's More Than Just Words

I really don't know about this cos I only know so much of dreams, its' individual meanings and all. And I don't know if we should really read into their meanings.. Tho' some stories I've heard through others regarding it are sometimes interesting.
And anyway, thanks for all the advise given in that particular comment. And Im always glad whenever I put a smile upon someone's else face.

"Santa dropping by to give u an Ipod Nano...Dream on..." - *I'm Seeing A Tunnel At The End Of All These Lights

I am still holding onto that dream. Haha. Who knows..? Dreams do come true...sometimes. Of cos for this one, I'd have to be crazy if I actually hoped that Santa would give me an Ipod. That's totally bull!

"Ur blog is superb." - *I'm Seeing A Tunnel At The End Of All These Lights

That's a huge compliment. Merci.

"So now u're an expert huh?" - *Taking A While Raising A Smile

I'm still learning and will still need your guidance around shi-fu. How could the student outclass the master.. Well maybe soon!

Danke for all comments made! I shall end this piece by quoting a quote from someone who got the quote from another. Simplicity explains best.

Human being is all about being human..

19 Dec 05 - 11.50pm

Taking A While Raising A Smile

I never thought in a million years
you'd be mine. And now you have.

16 Dec 05 - 10.45pm
Radio = Travis - Afterglow

I've done it finally! Woohoo!! Blog's got a new look. After weeks of not trying hard enough, somehow today it just happened. I must have been sprinkled with magic dust. I was Albert Einstein for a moment. Experiments - Experiments. Hoping I'd get it right. And walaa.. Just when it seemed like mission impossible, I beat the odds. I made it kim-possible. Who'd have thought.. Me the idiot who has little knowledge of computers and then suddenly making a blog template? Whoa.. If someone had come out to me and said "right, you'll be making a blog template..", then he would have gotten a smackaroo! Big surprise. Simply magical! Kawa-bang-ga dude! Right, I should contain my excitement.. I know this is no big deal [but then again it's me!!], sister laid off any "ooh Im so impressed" remarks for the efforts. Said it's s.i.m.p.l.e. to do. It's that easy?? Here I was thinking "man you're a genius!" And then later all I got from her was a sarcastic pat on the back. Sheesh.
Anyways, a special thanks to Rai the [not so diva] friend. [chuckles]. If there is such a thing as blog gurus, then she's one of them. Appreciate the patience when others would have long gone AWOL on me - because of my seemingly dumb questions, computer text. I knew I was irritating. Vous amez mes gratitudes.. Merci Beaucoup!!

Went to Queensway shopping centre yesterday. I found a beauty.
Retail price as quoted by the salesman: S$179
Price bargained and agreed on: S$150

Didn't cost me a thing afterall. Zero. Cero. Null. See I was given a S$150 voucher. Courtesy of work. Surprised? I am. But great stuff this. Adidas Predator Pulse. Excellent free signing. Sadly these boots that were made for kicking didn't make a winning debut..on which by the way speaking of boots - that video for These Boots Were Made For Walking, who is that singer.. oh yes, Jessica vixen Simpson. Hot! Hot! Hot! Ggrrrrr..! Ok alright where was I.. right the boots. Earlier today played a match at St Wilfred's with colleagues against another department from work. We lost 2-1. But Im not sulking at all. In fact fully satisfied with the team's performance. Even more surprisingly, some of our gameplay was excellent at times. This freshie team has got potential. Im excited. And what of the boots performance? I shall reserve my judgement though I must say it feels good putting on it. Satisfactory at least as of now.

11.48pm

Body is aching. Eyes are heavy. Mind is tired. Brain is telling me to finish this and go to bed. Ok, signal is reached. Got to rest now, there's work [argh!!!!] tomorrow..

16 Dec 05 - 11.52pm

I'm Seeing A Tunnel At The End Of All These Lights

----I thought it was cute----
So it got adopted
............And she adored it

14 Dec 05 - 12.31am
Radio = Travis - Why Does It Always Rain On Me

It's strange. The past few days, there's this urge to write-in each day. And it's pushing the mind into overdrive. I haven't got the slightest clue to where all this motivation is coming from. Perhaps its the down feeling, pushing the need to pen it down somewhere. Expression of words. For actions do not necessarily speak louder than words. It just confuses the intentions sometimes.

12 Dec. Met Erin. It was difficult letting the truth out to her. Didn't know how to start. Somehow the message got through anyway. It was awkward. I felt bad. Confidants had advised against the idea of leaking the truth to her. I saw their point. But still somehow rather I felt she had to know. Couldn't bear hiding the facts, giving the impression that everything was alright. It wasn't. So the truth was told. Disappointment. Anger. I saw it in her. It was fine. Emotions understood. Any person would have felt likewise. But overall she took it well.. I hope. I think. I know. I really hope she understands my situation too. I think I've made the right choice by telling. Promised no secrets. Weight lifted off shoulders, it feels a relief. And I know that in the end, the mood is all well in the camp. Any hard feelings should have been made known. Then, now and in future.

Anyways.. the belated birthday gift has been passed. Was a little worried of the reactions upon seeing the lil' fuzzy fella. Alas, I got a good feeling. Adoration all over. Thank you Indra ~ Sam-Wise Gamgee'. Again, you are a genious...sometimes.

I didn't do much at work yesterday. Deployed for security static duty. Sat in the whole day warming my bum. Though restlessness kicked in at some part of the day, the rain that came later eased all uneasyness. Soothing. Still at times I wished I had something to do. [Read: Human Behaviour. Never satisfied with anything. It's always less or more. This or that]. But I definitely had a good rest. No complaints about that. *Winks*

At home, me and mum are back on speaking terms. Now things appear back to normal.. on the surface at least. Still not too sure of what the heart feels, although she did briefly trash out on the matter in the morning before work. At least that was better. The way it was done.

I got my mind on something else..

Im not at ease, still. Though this time its not mainly on the topic that's often being discussed recently. It's about M.O.N.E.Y now. When will all these worries ever stop!!?? Sometimes I wonder. If I have a cursed luck..[??] Is it because I lied when I was seventeen? Not that I can recall now..

Even when the sun is shining, I can't avoid the lightning..

Family commitments are a burden. Really.. Arrrrggh I feel bad already saying it! [They're my FnB. If not me, who will?]. Ok so then in looking at it in another way, there are some good in it. It does mould you. I think it's made me into a more cautious person[??] speaking money term. More appreciative of the value of money itself these days. Perhaps a little more responsible with the way it's spent. But... Im desperately itching to get an IPOD Nano! Hopelessly devoted to the cause of it's purchase. Hmmmm we'll see how it goes. Who knows Santa might just drop by...

Listening to this song.. Reminds me of the good ol' days. A brilliant anthemic song. It was perhaps apart from Oasis the reason I picked up a guitar. Playing it at jam studios, acoustic sessions with the lads. Really missed those moments. Those were perhaps the best days of my life. Well..

Goodnight.

I can't sleep tonight
Everybody's saying everything is alright
Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days
Where have you gone
I get the strangest feeling
You belong
Why does it always rain on me
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen
Why does it always rain on me
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning
I can't stand myself
I'm being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I got my mind on something else
Sunny days
Where have you gone
I get the strangest feeling
You belong
Why does it always rain on me
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen
Why does it always rain on me
Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning
Where did the blue skies go
Why is it raining so
It's so cold

14 Dec 05 - 3.46am

Cold Water Surrounds Me

12 Dec 05 - 2.32am
Radio = Damien Rice - Cold Water

Early Monday morning and I still can't bring myself to go to bed. It's just one of those days when you wish and wait for something exciting to happen and in the end nothing ever happens. I pretty much sat in and stared at the computer for most of Sunday. One long lazy day. No interesting people in MSN to chat up. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.T.E.R. is getting more mundane by the day. [f-r-I-E-n-d] And I just don't know what other websites to surf anymore. Anyway wrote a few songs with the acoustic. Some with added lyrics. Some songs I don't know if they'll sound better on an electric guitar. Those bits and pieces ideas, I hope they'll be completed soon. Pray the inspiration comes through. And of cos I hope the lads will like it. Because songs matter..

Manchester United Football Club. A fallen giant? No? Crumbling it must then. How they have lacked that extra bite, that extra drive in recent years. Certainly the glory days are behind it. I think they've really missed David Beckham. Those killer passes, crosses, supplies that he conjures up resulting in goals goals goals. Sigh. Saw the ManU Vs Everton game earlier. Match nothing short of entertain value. But the ManU players certainly lacked in hunger. Lack of quality - definitely. That showed during their embarassing last Champions League game exit. Im not one to be fried and licked but when the club performs the way they are currently, it's difficult trying to dodge your way past "missiles" thrown by those that anti-es the club. It is not the right time to be a fan of the club right now. Hmm I could go on forever talking.. Sports journalist next as a profession perhaps? Oh yes by the way the earlier game ended 1-1. Bollocks.

3.09am

Right. I feel the eyes. Getting sleepy. I think I'll go to bed soon. Will be meeting Erin later in the day. Lots of things to talk about and clarify. Honestly, I really am not sure how things will turn out..

Lord can you hear me now? Or am I lost?

Me and mum spoke. There's still that awkward icy feeling each time we exchange words. But at least we're talking. Things should get back to normal with days. Sure of that. We haven't clarified the matter though. As much as I want them to be trashed out, I don't know how to start it. How do I say it? It's never easy slow chatting with mum. She's a hard customer. Im sure deep down she wants a settlement too. I just don't know. There's never the right time. Guess I'll just wait till I find a moment when I think Im ready for it. That sort of feeling. Or shall I just let it pass? Sigh, I just don't know.

What do they say if a dream keeps recurring? And each time it's half finish.. Hmm I don't know what's the significance. Might wanna try and read books that talk about these things. I think I've seen and read them somewhere in Borders. I dreamt that I had a haircut last night. Haha weird. In it, I remember thinking to myself that I didn't need one during the haircut. I was glad when I realised I didn't had it afterall. Yaaaawwn.. Wonder what dreams I'll have later.. Guess sleeping without any dreams is better. Sweet dreams just brings you down. Those early moments when you wake and realise that it was all just a dream really is an anti climax. Demoralising!

I've not hit town for a while now. That barren exile should be broken very soon. Pay's finally here! Im excited. Those night outs - The stars and snow flakes. Can't wait for later.. My eyes will be transfixed on the screen. 4 digits. Cool.

3.47am

F***! I really should sleep now. Good night. Arrivederci

12 Dec 05 - 3.49am

It's More Than Just Words

8 Dec 05 - 9.33pm
Radio = James Blunt - Tears And Rain

My friend commented that Im getting emotional. Perhaps. Have been past few months, years. Lately. Perhaps I've always been[?] Only kept it low key[?] Hmm sigh sigh sigh.

Went to Johor the other day. Group of five inc Ain, Rai, Mai and Zam. It was one crazy outing. I've never eaten so much food in a day till then. From the moment we reached till night, all we did was eat like there was no tomorrow. I was cast under their spell. Stomach abuse! No complaints though. The food was excellent. And at the sumptious seafood dinner, I didn't have to part with a single cent. How cool is that! Power to the friends! It was nice catching up with the group after the last outing. That was sometime late of last year?? A good day spent. And I'll say it again.. It was a crazy crazy outing of food frenzy madness!!

A lot has happened the past week. Those many events caused by a single occasion. Part of the truth: Had a "quarrel" with mum. A verbal disagreement would be more exact. I thought the earlier issue had settle. Was willing myself to forget about it, those things she did. She called a couple of friends [so I thought] of mine to get some feedback on her. "Spying" in a way. All this without my knowledge. And those so called "friends" gave some very nice reviews. Real nice. Again I didn't know about this. They didn't tell. Silence is easy.. Really upset. Still, was just getting on.. and then came the shocker. Re-offender. Only mum went one better this time. Invited a friend over.. [??] Got her through "spying" on my list of friends contacts. Again done without my knowledge. [!!] More importantly what was she thinking!!?? Trying to "hook" me up with her I'd say. If she had meant well, that wasn't right. If she'd just wanted to get to know my friends, could have asked. Would have gladly provided the numbers. Not through the back door. Well... that's mum. Unique in her own way. So full of surprises. Spectacular. Sometimes I think she's a mini psycho. Pains myself to be saying all these. But just that the things she do, the way she thinks; I just wished she could see and understand better.

Anyways the whole meet the friend/parent session has been resolved..at least for now. At least for me..knowing that it's no use to ponder and dwell. Spoke to that friend. She felt guilty about it all. I don't know what to make of it. If she's partly to blame for the involvement. Reason was taken. All apologies but Im not sure if I merited one in the first place. Im wasn't angry, just confused. I just wished it never happened. Anyways she's off to Australia like forever for work. Should be on the way now. Hope we'll keep in touch and remain friends as we've been. As it should.

Had a short but very useful conversation with dad earlier. Strange considering that we usually don't share much of a conversation. It would have been some achievement whenever we'd complete two sentences together. And so dad stole me for a second.. Conversations and clarifications. Some things I heard that I was glad with. Some things not. Think generally I felt slightly better after that. It would have been better had he not spoilt it with the S$1K loan question. Sheesh kebab

And so it is... Just like you said it would be...

But I hope things will get better. And no [more] surprises. Im just seeing how things will unfold and develop. Take things as they come and I hope I have the patience to wait. Me and Mum?? We're on a cease fire. I'll be pushing for a peace treaty soon.. Wish me luck.

Gosh. All the emo you speak...
[And to the anonymous lilchiquitita - where are thou?]

8 Dec 05 - 11.14pm