To Lose Myself With Friends [I'm Nowhere Without You]

9.20pm

Was at Ngee Ann City last Thursday to catch Placebo...on a screen. As if they knew, the time I reached, the band started playing Every Me Every You! Love the song. Still it was a suck-ey feeling, watching them on "TV" knowing the fact that they were playing live right there, just next to where I was. The stupid exclusive "invitations" only.. The band had might as well just held a concert since they were there.

I missed [again] the Squad Team's outing on Saturday. I got the fever. So Saturday sucked. And so did today. This 'staying at home' thingy has really become a disease for me.. Tomorrow, it's back to work. When your working office hours, it's feels like your weekends past so quickly. But Im kinda looking forward to the final stretch. 3 more days of office hours followed by the competition, Damien Rice concert and then two off days to cap off the week. That's good enough. Things should start to look up hopefully by next weekend.

Just saw Coldplay's new video: The Hardest Part. It was not what I had hoped it'd turn out to be. Disappointment. I wished it was more graphical and scenic. Surely they could have come up with something better than a static video showing two ''clowns'' doing nothing more than a rather pathetic dance routine. And that didn't make sense at all. That accompanied by the band's forgetful stage performance. It was like a scene right out from the movie 'That Thing You Do', the part when the band were acting and performed by the beach. Don't know why but Coldplay videos are getting crappier. Not since The Scientist video has any captured much emotions. That was a masterpiece. Just hope the band hasn't lost it..

Come this May, I could be a tourist. Gotta think, decide and come up with an answer..soon. I hope I think I know.

10.07pm

We Cannot Save Ourselves Alone

9.01pm

Today marked the second week of office hours Streetcraft training. Somehow lately feels like days have been passing all too quickly. Handphone's been rather quiet. That's pathetic considering that I have an all day incoming free line and 500 free SMS. Last night I had one of those dreams I wished I didn't have. Oh no it's not that bad, it's just the feeling after waking up and realising it was just that, that I hate. Ever had a dream where the person that you have or had a crush on featured? Well I had one of those. It felt surreal looking at her. God must be so free to ignore my wishes and play pranks on me instead.. Or maybe it's a sign? See she was with another while I had company myself. Right, move along son..

Met up with Sam Wise Gam Gee - Imran, last Saturday at City hall. Was a nice 'outing' I must say. There's no longer much free time for meetings with old pals these days so much that you make the most of [or scrape] whatever opportunities that comes along. Geesh am Im living a sad life.. Anyways we went window shopping together [how romantic]. Im got himself cargo pants. They were nice. I would have bought them myself if he hadn't. Didn't have anything in mind but thanks to Im and an all too easy swaying heart, I bought myself a pair of utility pants. Talk about being impulsive! Well at least I paid $10 less than the original price of $43. They had this half price for a second pair offer. So I would and should have actually saved more but of cos that was never gonna happen with Imran in the equation.. Well if I were to be honest, I might just have done the same! Haha. Later we had a real good 'Central Perk' FRIEND-esque time siiting and talking at Starbucks. I've always loved doing that. It's always brought that nice relaxed feeling. And so it was, conversation of hopes and fears..

While we living, the dreams we have as children fade away??

Now I've got an extra thing to look forward to besides the upcoming Damien Rice gig.. Im's invited me to come along with his friends' trip to KL. Well it was more a case of me inviting myself. Heck that.. I need a trip to break from work! So we'll see..guess it's pretty much confirmed I'll tag unless whatever...

Silence is easy

It's been some days.. where are thou Ms Sandy??

10 more days to Damien Rice and the Streetcraft Competition. 3 more days to performance bonus. That's a kewl $700/- into the coffers. Sometimes I wonder why I even complain about work..

10.06pm

I'm Counting Up The Cost Of Time

12.19am
Radio = Athlete - Tourist

Feeling a sense of paranoia creeping in lately.. Knowing, seeing and meeting people. Mini disappearance or break. Re-contact and what do you have.. Things can change so quickly. A couple of years? Well maybe not that quickly.. But what's fact is that situations change. They evolve. Nothing remains static well.. except for me perhaps. Recently just found out two gal friends have found partners. Do the venuses or most really can't live without their opposite counterparts just for a fraction of their lives? Or is this me being jealous without realising it? Or is this like I said, being paranoid of dying alone. The fact that this year Im adding one to the number that Michael Jordan made famous, as a reflection of age adds fuel to paranoia. I could be Jude Law in that movie: Alfie. The guy who goes round seducing and womanising and who in the end ends up with none. For all I know, I could be that guy! However it'd be a joke if I said I was examplary in actions. Im no romeo or casanova. Never tried to be one. Never will. Im not that person. But sometimes, I do wished I was. Me getting to know them gals were of cos however strokes of fortune [and genius?]. Just that it's depressing realising now you're not doing too well when you used to think you were fine. So anyway, should I be pressing that panic button already? Or like Sya, just one of the many said, to let time run it's course and come what may..

I feel like nothing ever will..

Some good news at least, thanks to Imran. What will I do without you, Sam Wise Gam-Gee..
Damien Rice is coming this 30th March 2006. Honestly I never thought he would, ever. I remembered Imran saying how great it'd be if the guy came..something along that line I think. Then I was like 'Yeah dream on.." And now Im's got his wish. Real big surprise. And later in the morning, Im's gonna go get the tics.. This time we're going all out for the positions, thanks to Sya's none-bending confident advise. Ficklety lost. I am real excited for this one. Still, $300 IS hard to part with...

I will bring you stories and blurry eyed photos..

Sya's just came back from the Kings Of Convenience concert. She's starstruck alright. Just like I was with Oasis. I'd have like to chat and ask for details, but Im getting sleepy already. And Im thinking there's always tomorrow for that..

2.05am

People Believe That They're Gonna Get Away For The Summer

7pm.

Today was a real waste of a day. Got recalled to work early in the morning for some stupid activation exercise. All we did then were to check our training equipments. Later I got picked to be the so called model and don the whole training attire for the trainers' assessment. Talk about being "lucky". But luckily those dude-ish friends of mine were around to assist..well thinking about it, they did most of the job putting and attaching those hot uncomfortable toys on me. Right, so...what's there to complain you say a?

Had planned to meet up with Ms Sandy after that, again it didn't materialise. Lately that has been the case and I don't know why. Somehow today, it didn't felt right. Surprisingly so when that was how I felt.. And I don't know who's getting lazier by the day; she or me. Im thinking the latter. I am however excited at the thought of what she's venturing, or in her own words; got herself into. If what I gathered is true, a friend of her's is starting this modelling project which I feel has a good job prospect, for Sandy. Well don't get the wrong idea, Sandy isn't gonna be a model..[she doesn't have the cut to be! Winkeys. Haha well Im sure she does.] She's gonna be like a scout, searching through the streets of Orchard and beyond for good potentials. How kewl is that? I wanna be a scout too! I've got a couple of faces in mind. Oh and I wished I was good at photography too..I'd like to think I'd make a great photographer if I had the skills! Heard the project is looking around for photographer[s]. Until things unfold, I'll leave it at that.

Well I was just looking through the gals' blogs, and I found three things.

1) I realised I've missed so much of the groups outings. The many pictures that they took really missed me. Or was I missing from them..? Which ever way, Im not in them! Blame WORK. Suddenly Im looking forward to the next outing.. They say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

2) The clip. Imran buddy... Im sorry..but you suck at shee-shaa-ing!! Can you be more "natural"?? Really bewildering!

3) Ain's damnning of an innocent camera named 'Olympus' belonging to... ME! Arrrhh..how could you?? So mean! If I may put in the exact words she said:

"So the 2 exilim and 1 lumix had to stay in the boot while the pekak nak mampos nyer olympus got to go in... But sadly, the pekak nak mampos nyer olympus memang tak guna nak mampos... Satu gambar pun tak dapat..."

Ouch!! Leave the Olympus alone now missy..! Don't blame it.. when you didn't wanna bring in your's in the first place. Bleurgh!! But I have to agree on one thing tho'.. the camera IS 'pekak'.. Haha! Outdated abilities to put it in a more nicer way. But pekak nak mampos?? C'mon..don't say that. You'll hurt Olym. I still treasure the camera. Like I said, it's been a good servant. Wait till I get a new one then you know.. All of you critics! You know who you are

I really truly madly deeply feel that I could use a holiday right now. So tired of the current. The way things are right now.. sigh. I wished I knew of someone who feels the same way I do. Then I'd get to share this downer of a feeling... Friends are already mentioning of their upcoming travel ventures. Words keep ringing in my ears..sickening! I know a colleague who's planning for Phuket. Even the 'Squad Team' are planning on Bangkok..Or is it Phuket?? Suddenly that sounds so very appealing to me..

I need to get away for the summer man.. But hey, when's summer??

8.25pm

Where Were You While We Were Getting High??

8.01pm
Radio = Oasis - Champagne Supernova

Finally, here's an update. Lately it's been real tough getting some time off. Work's been hell busy. Can't get no leaves.. And things just don't seem to look good in the future. Im on office hours again starting 13th till end of month. SHIT

DND went and passed like it was nothing. Wasn't the fireworks that I was hoping for, not many opportunities for socialising and so didn't got much pictures. Nice ones. Anyways on the hindsight, I am getting luckier with the event's lucky draw prizes. Second year running, I won something. The 27th prize. Ticket got me a gold class movie screening for 2 at GV Grand cinema. How kewl! After DND, we hit off to Momo. Got in for free cos a friend had close connections there..excellent! Initially sat ourselves at the live band corner. That was a blast. The band played really nice music. Even hearing a bon jovi song felt good. And of cos they had played an excellent cover of Bic Runga's Sway before that.. Was totally immersed in the song. Later when everyone was warmed, we got to the dance floor. It was jammed. Real intensity, everyone seemed to have a good time..well almost all. It was alright for me, somehow I didn't really feel the atmosphere as I thought I would. So that was it for the day, to sum it up, it was a disappointment.

The day was Feb 23rd 2006. A day I'll never forget for I saw Oasis for the first and probably last time ever in life. I remember my heart pumping when the gates opened for entry, I've never felt so excited. This totally overwhelmed me more than the previous live concert when Coldplay n Travis hit town. At the security counter, I was silently anxious..not for the concert but security reasons. I had slipped my digi cam at my back pocket. Then the Indian security called with his loud commanding voice. He was intimidating and I gulped. Haha. As he stroked his hands across my body..; well this sounds too erotic when I put it into words! He had every area checked but the bottom half of my back..phewww! I swore thinking then he had me. As nervous as I was, I probably didnt show it cos he let me go without much of a hassle. So together with the rest of the guys who didn't have to go through the mini trauma I endured, we walked into this huge galleria where Oasis were gonna play to thousands later. It was good that we had came early tho' not as early as some, cos it got pretty packed by the time we had found our comfort standings. Before that, what I saw was the back of an irritatingly tall bloke's head. And yes he was huge as well. So he pretty much covered my view. I had to do something.. There was this group of eurasian girls next to me standing in circles, engrossed in conversation. Me and Zam saw the chance and took our spots (well their's actually!) without a scratch... Haha! Finders keepers, losers suck! But anyway, both of us were later on a peace treaty with a couple of the girls from that group. Partied and sang together in unity..it was madness! The group had a bet on what song Oasis were gonna start the concert with. I had my money on F***in' In The Bushes. Later Oasis started with that.. The crowd got crazy as soon as the song aired. When we saw noel and then liam and then the rest of the band walk into stage... I just can't describe the feeling. No words can ever explain it. And anyway it will be a cliche if Im gonna start saying those feelings. To put it simply.. if you were there, you'd know what I mean.

Digi cam failed me. Everytime I snapped a picture, I'd get a blurry result. The Olympus has aged..though it's been a good servant. Perhaps it's time to get a new camera. An 'Exilim'..?? But anyways behind all the disappointment, on a positive note, I think I probably got to enjoy Oasis 100%. Highlights were when they played old hits like Wonderwall, Don't Look back in Anger, Live Forever, Acquiesce and my fav. for the day, Champagne Supernova. It felt surreal hearing and seeing Liam and Noel belting songs that have become cult status to the faithful. I'll never forget Feb 23rd 2006.

From L - R. Is, Ain, Zam, Rai, Im and Me

Peace 'N' F*** Off

These amazing pictures below were taken by a friend of a friend's. I hate her.

A View Forever Etched In Mind

As we slowly walked down the hall.. Faster than a cannonball.. I couldn't think... This was it. I was gonna catch Oasis, live...

So... Where were you while we were getting high??

10.02pm