It's More Than Just Words

8 Dec 05 - 9.33pm
Radio = James Blunt - Tears And Rain

My friend commented that Im getting emotional. Perhaps. Have been past few months, years. Lately. Perhaps I've always been[?] Only kept it low key[?] Hmm sigh sigh sigh.

Went to Johor the other day. Group of five inc Ain, Rai, Mai and Zam. It was one crazy outing. I've never eaten so much food in a day till then. From the moment we reached till night, all we did was eat like there was no tomorrow. I was cast under their spell. Stomach abuse! No complaints though. The food was excellent. And at the sumptious seafood dinner, I didn't have to part with a single cent. How cool is that! Power to the friends! It was nice catching up with the group after the last outing. That was sometime late of last year?? A good day spent. And I'll say it again.. It was a crazy crazy outing of food frenzy madness!!

A lot has happened the past week. Those many events caused by a single occasion. Part of the truth: Had a "quarrel" with mum. A verbal disagreement would be more exact. I thought the earlier issue had settle. Was willing myself to forget about it, those things she did. She called a couple of friends [so I thought] of mine to get some feedback on her. "Spying" in a way. All this without my knowledge. And those so called "friends" gave some very nice reviews. Real nice. Again I didn't know about this. They didn't tell. Silence is easy.. Really upset. Still, was just getting on.. and then came the shocker. Re-offender. Only mum went one better this time. Invited a friend over.. [??] Got her through "spying" on my list of friends contacts. Again done without my knowledge. [!!] More importantly what was she thinking!!?? Trying to "hook" me up with her I'd say. If she had meant well, that wasn't right. If she'd just wanted to get to know my friends, could have asked. Would have gladly provided the numbers. Not through the back door. Well... that's mum. Unique in her own way. So full of surprises. Spectacular. Sometimes I think she's a mini psycho. Pains myself to be saying all these. But just that the things she do, the way she thinks; I just wished she could see and understand better.

Anyways the whole meet the friend/parent session has been resolved..at least for now. At least for me..knowing that it's no use to ponder and dwell. Spoke to that friend. She felt guilty about it all. I don't know what to make of it. If she's partly to blame for the involvement. Reason was taken. All apologies but Im not sure if I merited one in the first place. Im wasn't angry, just confused. I just wished it never happened. Anyways she's off to Australia like forever for work. Should be on the way now. Hope we'll keep in touch and remain friends as we've been. As it should.

Had a short but very useful conversation with dad earlier. Strange considering that we usually don't share much of a conversation. It would have been some achievement whenever we'd complete two sentences together. And so dad stole me for a second.. Conversations and clarifications. Some things I heard that I was glad with. Some things not. Think generally I felt slightly better after that. It would have been better had he not spoilt it with the S$1K loan question. Sheesh kebab

And so it is... Just like you said it would be...

But I hope things will get better. And no [more] surprises. Im just seeing how things will unfold and develop. Take things as they come and I hope I have the patience to wait. Me and Mum?? We're on a cease fire. I'll be pushing for a peace treaty soon.. Wish me luck.

Gosh. All the emo you speak...
[And to the anonymous lilchiquitita - where are thou?]

8 Dec 05 - 11.14pm