Try To Find Somebody Then You Die

28 Nov 05 - 12.13am
Radio = The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

Is Yesterday, Tomorrow, Today? [Part 2]

Im pissed. The TV's down. I can't watch the EPL game!! Man U's playing. Im really pissed. Gotta wait for dad to fix the TV. Shitos. Im really really pissed.

It's been a while since I wrote and talked about work. Guess everything's back to normal now. The dust has settled. Finally [I think]. No more missing the old team. Though on the odd days, the feeling returns. And I get moody all over. Sheesh. Today. Had a good day at the office. 3 simple routine cases attended. No strings attached. And everything went smoothly. Arrrrr if only every day was like this..

Right. This is really demoralising. Not when you're thinking everything will be ok and you think.. "Im ready to progress to the next level". The parents have spoken. And it's not good. Is this another of fate's many cruel game of twist? Come to think of it, I had not thought of this nor even expected it. The backlash. It sure hit hard. It was only during in the van when it got across my mind. Thanks to Indra's constantly bugging me with it. I was worried. And true enough, my fears were realised the very next day. I was bitterly disappointed. The way she handled and said it. Im sure it could have been dealt with another better way. Advise? Or sat me down and discussed at the very least. That day. I slept throughout. I just didn't want to think about it. Woke up the next day, the feeling remained. Hated it. I just couldn't shake it off my mind. I kept on thinking of why they just couldn't be more accepting and open-minded about certain things.

But when I really sat myself down and think, I thought perhaps it was all said and done in my best interest. Im sure they meant that. The more I think I of it now, I think whatever reasons they've laid, they make perfect sense. It's my LIFE. I gotta decide, plan and think better than what Im doing currently. But it's not to say that I agree 100% about the things they say. And Im not saying Im fully satisfied. I've got a few of my own principles. I think they're reasonable enough. So with that said, I don't think Im gonna throw it all away. Not giving up.. not yet. Let's wait. There's still some time. I hope the second coming will be a happier occasion. Just gotta be patient, though I dunno for how long more.. But like they say, good things comes to those who wait.. Fingers crossed. Hoping. Praying.

1.44am

It's over. I've missed the game. Im freakin' pissed! Cable guy - Tomorrow.

It's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

You know I can change
I can't change

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Have you ever been down?

28 Nov 05 - 1.45am