It's All About Your Cries And Kisses, Those First Steps That I Can't Calculate

I feel terribly sorry for dad. He works so hard on the job, slaving himself to it and I doubt the bollocks above him have got any heart at all. Knowing the strong person dad is, I can only pray for his good health. On the flip side, Im disgusted by his temperament and inability to understand me. Somehow he never fails to make me feel guilty over anything that doesn't work out in the play. It's like a sport where I always end up the loser.

Last night, I couldn't say yes to him. I couldn't ditch her. It just didn't feel right. We had only settled and having the appetising middle eastern food fill our stomachs. Unfortunately dad's unexpected request spoilt my appetite, killing all hopes of a second round appearance at the serving. That upset had the surprisingly disappointing ambience a run for its (my) money.

Everything just seems to fit into place once again. The temporary exile that we had never threatened any awkwardness at all, suggesting as if we've never been away. And like some invincible magnetic force, she draws me in effortlessly. My sails at the mercy of her wind. It's something I wished I had control of but the power she seems to have over me is almost second to none. I don't know what it is or why, it's just something I can't explain. When Im around her, I still get those goosebumps sometimes. I get nervous and then my mind will just shut leaving me void of expressions. That I found out unfortunately won't do me any good.

I need more information and understanding. A lost tourist in unfamiliar territory, perhaps I could do with a manual book.



In the blink of an eye, it's already been a week of fasting. And rumour has it that mum's coming back on Saturday. :)