Fill These Spaces Up With Days (I Can't Sleep)

Time and time I've been told to stop blowing bubbles into the air. Yet somehow I remain stubborn. Sandcastles I've built remain unaltered. I just can't bear to let go and let reality blow them all away. As much as the optimistic person I am, I wished I was just as realistic. Dreaming and hoping for far more than I actually set out to achieve, I continue to install pretty images of the future and foolishly, overlooking treacherous ditches on the roads ahead. As I drift along with the currents, I worry that I'll get swallowed by the sea one unsuspecting day. Perhaps mum and dad were right all along. That you think you've come of age and you know everything... All I know is what I know. The rest of life's lessons remain the hidden unknown, either lying in wait for an ambush or revealing their beautiful sides in peaceful motion.

Dad saved me today. I had went against the safe bet. But as he went on about preserving a clean slate image on the job and not to fool around, I began to think twice. Im glad the warning came early enough before it was too late for redemption. Relieved, I'll sleep easy tonight. To think about it now, what is an assured $19 compared to enduring nervy moments of not knowing the outcome, if I'll pass or face the jury if discovered.

Without any treaty signed or friendly words exchanged, the non-existent relationship I thought I had with dad seems to be questioned lately. Perhaps, the working partnership has to be blamed. But Im not complaining. I just hope the calming of the sea between us will continue.

I wonder how mum is and what she is doing right now... It is strange sometimes that I don't think about her. Maybe it's better not to. Until the day she's returning home, I'll refrain from thinking too much. I'll try my best.

Within the growing emptiness, Im glad that a familiar glow has returned and shed some much needed light and life. Somewhat suggesting that it's here to stay, I am however silently worried that the clear sky will deceive. That it will invite the clouds over, soon blocking the sun again.

Stay.